Excerpts from along the way:

Some were facts:

• Diseases don’t follow textbook descriptions – Dr I C Pam

• Whenever you wake up is your morning – Dr Ogbonna

• “You students major in minors and minor in majors”  – Dr C.C. Ekwempu.

• “Fertility rate is high in Nigeria because NEPA is unreliable”. – Dr S. Pam.

Some a bit more serious:

“…Be the wanton doctors you want to be, but presently, get out of my office”  – Dr B.T Ugwu to begging committee seeking clemency after the class boycotted an end of posting surgery test.

Some were hilarious:

So you failed? Did you read? Did you pray? Did you lift up holy hands? – Prof Okwuasaba

“If he tries all and it fails, he tries the cave man method”. – Prof. Uguru, during his lecture on rape and sexual molestation.

“Your nose looks mischievous”. - Dr Okoronwko trying to discover the culprit distracting at the back during his lecture.

“ Don’t you know that some signatures carry more weight?”  -Dr Okpe.

“Who are these mercenaries?” – Dr S. Pam, to the new set of students on his team

“Yo men!  These cells, Recognize, Attach, Destroy and Detach”. – Dr Enenebeaku acting out the function of NKcells.

Please if I ask you a question and you do not know the answer, you can kindly pack your things and leave the class, and when I mean leave, I mean go to the hostel and read. – Prof Okwuasaba

Breathing is living, and oxygen winds round the vital clock (preamble)-Uncle B

When I mark your scripts, I almost weep, they are full of sentence fractures and summersaults- Dr E J C Nwana

“Sir, the head circumference is 14cm, MUAC is 13cm”. Eh, so what do you want to do, sew babanriga for the child? - Dr Okpe

 Some outrageous!

Every woman has a placenta!!! – “Conninghams”

 Others, oh well…

 -          Physiology Lecture.

•  Uncle B:  Give me an example of a skeletal muscle.

• Student:  Cardiac Muscle.

• Uncle B:  [infuriated] That is how you will fail! Next, you, give me an example.

• Student:  Semitendinosus.

• Uncle B:  Eh, wetin be dat!

 -         GS Lecture on Nigeria’s Peoples and Culture, student walks in late.

• Professor:  What’s your name young man?

• Student:  Charles Nnachukwu.

• Professor:  That’s Ibo right, where are you from?

• Student: [confused] From the Abuja Hostel.

 -   EPU: Clerking and Presentation.

•  Student:  Chief, the patient has fever, but no 'micturition' on crying.

• Doctor:  What?!

• Student:  Sir, I’m trying to rule out incontinence in this infant.

 -    During a tutorial session on fractures

• Doctor:  What will you do?

• Student:  Apply a splint.

• Doctor:  What kind?

• Student:  Carton

• Doctor:  Look, don’t ever say that any where in the world!